Celestial Boot Camp

We often hear people warning us to be careful wishing for things unless we are serious about our intentions. Now I am in big trouble. Rewinding back to the mid 80s when the baby boomers kept flocking to the so called “New Age/Metaphysical” book shops in search for their enlightenment. I was one of those seekers (always sought but never found) but amused even then by what they called “new age” material as I found them more ancient in so many ways. It was at one of those Aladdin Caves that I discovered a thick blue book titled A Course in Miracles with no author’s name displayed anywhere.  It is a self study/mind training/psychotherapy book with a daily lesson to read for the whole year. I loved the poetic words with a Shakespearean feel and it is all about “Love is letting go of Fear”.

Around that time when I was all “pumped” up, I was interested to attend a 40 day/40 night ACIM Retreat to be held on top of some mountains in the United States. I wondered what it would be like being trapped in a “house” for so long and that meditation/self reflection, study, eating organic. exercising and sitting in “quietude” were the only agenda for the long stay. However, I could not peel myself away from my motherly responsibility so spent the next few decades attending to everyone’s needs except my own, and as to my Soul’s needs?... what is that!

Then came this little invisible “apparently dead” guy called Covid, it “knew” of my secret wish about being locked down indefinitely. Fortunately where I am dwelling is not your average “rough it out” retreat setting, apart from facing a shortage of toilet paper, it is a five star accomodation cum with a chef, gardener and a “clean after me” Jack of all trades - my own “designed” hubby.

 Covid can be so overbearing, it loves hearing its own name being mentioned non-stop on the news. In order to discourage this unhealthy self centeredness, I turned the TV off and hid my iPad. I  know the way I will walk through the next few months with it dictating my guidelines for living would either make me a “heroine” of my own life or a “servant” to its extreme intimidation. Such a bully.

But on a positive note, Covid did bring me other gifts though subtle with first glance and it serves a purpose. Once our government announced the lockdown, apart from ordering some supplements and masks online, I refused to allow it to diminish my ability to enjoy my life. I went all out to create the best retreat in the world, I made myself a well equipped gym and rescued the old leotard and felt “physical” as I danced to Olivia Newton John’s song. Next I established a “University” and even registered myself to undertake a PhD course of my own version. Behind the locked door I finally could devour all the unusual “things” I have held an enormous interest since time began but too scared to let others know how weird I am. Now you know.  My logic is since I have no idea when Covid might want to partner up with me, so what is there to be secretive about. I became so REAL for the first time and allowed my hair to turn gray without any explanations needed. That is real FREEDOM at work, great work, Covid, Hi five!!!!!  

Then I dusted off my beloved Dr Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ book as I wanted to check what stage of the Grieving Process I was up to.  If my memory is intact, they are stages of Denial/shock, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance but not necessarily appearing in a certain order. Strangely in my case, I seemed to have started from the end stage and worked backward. I have no explanation for that except perhaps after experiencing a build up tension for so long that Mother Earth was in a bad mood,  I was able to feel some relief when this bubble finally burst.

There was something interesting I have discovered during this corona sabbatical, I started to notice that I have actually been “trained” in many different ways during the past in order to meet this present time challenge. While I was a little girl in Hong Kong, we must have gone through an epidemic of some sort as I remember being told that there were so many patients queuing around my father’s surgery for the shots but I recalled only his constant calm expression of love, compassion and patience for everyone he touched. It is true that the “inner” person reveals themselves when all is not going well. 

 The most helpful tool from my own toolbox would be the remembrance and recognition of how I got out of each of those “interesting” periods when I doubted if I could ever emerge onto the other side intact with my sanity. Almost every time as I reached rock bottom and was so fatigued that I lost my need to control...anything, period! It was as if the Universe was poking fun at me, teasing... “Now try this...yourself”. I was offended as all I wanted was my sense of safety, but nothing worked until….I finally gave up needing to know and willing to surrender to the “unknown”. So this time round, I knew better and headed directly to my Inner Cave and willing to sit very quiet asking only for guidance and inner peace. If you can take away anything from this blog, I hope you are convinced that you have what it takes to handle this crisis. Please look for all the “clues” or “learning opportunities” you have accumulated in your life so far, they are there. You alone have earned those Brownie points and now you can cash them in to make your “staycation” easier. 

 As we watch how deserted each city has become, it is so surreal our minds cannot fathom that reality. As one would ask who alone can shut down the whole world like that, without one word uttered or any warning and... for what reasons? We could no longer live the way we did before. We thought we were generally in control; from booking a table in a restaurant, organising a trip, planning for our pension and what have we, that “right” and “choice” were taken away from us and oops. I can’t recall anyone asking for our opinions or input. On top of that, we were all sent home and told to stay there like little naughty children authorised by the Principal. So...who is the Principal of this Earth School/Celestial Boot camp. I guess it might be the “sustainer” of Life, it is his/her duty to look after us and the generations after us.

“We do not inherit the land from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children” - Native American proverb    

However, there is an insightful side to this virus invasion, it is showing us that who we thought were our enemies ended up looking and suffering exactly like ourselves with the same need for love, safety and connectedness. Temporary we forgot about fighting each other with so much resources spent on weapons and with so many innocent lives being lost. Now we have a larger than life invisible “terrorist” to fight with. This is the first time ever that each earthling is going through the same gamut of emotions and feelings and the shared “stuff” we all thought were so important now we can let go easier. I was amazed and amused as to how little I need to live these days and also beginning to be aware of my deep need for silence. 

So let us go beyond the fear connotation with the coronavirus and to turn crisis into opportunity. Let us learn what feeling rested really means and that we deserve it. We can even take a good look with future work creations, deepening our relationships, honouring our similarities instead of differences. What tickles my curiosity is what would take place when the curfew is over with our tactile stimulation? Do we all rush out to greet each other with kisses, hugs and hands holding or have we all cultivated a more “superior” side of showing love and affection that go beyond the physical expression or gesturing. With this prolonged in-house “no touching” training, I think with or without social distancing, we all have reached the advanced stage of narrowing our emotional distance, and that, my friends, congratulations to us all, IT IS SUCH A GOOD THING.

Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative - H.G. Wells (1866-1946)

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication - Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519)

My love and thoughts are with you all, take hope and courage and I thank you for touching base with me.