There is no normal.

Hello there, whoever and wherever you may be - my name is Adrian.

You may (likely) have heard of this faceless entity that is me behind this website and the kick I gave my Aunt Bonnie almost one year ago. I thought I'd interrupt your normally broadcasted reading to interject a bit of who I am as we come up on our one year anniversary of this website.

I like to refer to myself as just another normal guy, married, have a job, pay a mortgage and raise two kids (I should confirm I refer to my pets as my furry kids). But I've come to learn in my (short and admittedly inexperienced life) time that there is no such thing as a "normal life" - it's subjective. I grew up with values of having a good education, doing the right things, find a job, work hard, start a family = life. 

I continued with this narrative until I reached a point of what I thought was my "peak" or my mentally set boundary. From there I found what I wasn't expecting, which was just a sense of emptiness and a feeling of being lost over the years. I had mapped out some realistic life goals, but found when I got there - I literally didn't know what to do anymore.

How is this relevant and why am I telling you this? Because it's linked to the two reasons why I decided to kick this site off for my Aunt - 1) because she's family and I wanted to give her a platform to share her message and 2) because this feeling I had from being lost in the past sent me on a one way flight down to Anxiety Island (which included a free upgrade to Panic Attack Class) - and I wanted to contribute in helping others who may be in (or have been) in a similar place - even if indirectly.

I've been going along on this journey for the last year with my Aunt Bonnie and it's been great to see the responses and support she has had. I still have anxiety, and come to realise that I've always had it, we all have it as humans and it's not something we "suffer from" or need to "cope with" - it's just been there all along and comes and goes as a naturally as emotions like happiness. I told myself I was suffering from anxiety for years, patiently waiting for it to go away. But then I thought, if I kept this never ending story alive that I'm suffering with no end point - that became the reality that I lived with - with no end point.

I had to stop reading this bedtime story to myself, as to be honest, it's a pretty shit story. And that's where I am today, always looking for that new chapter on life experiences, reading that next blog post from my Aunt, and figuring out how all this pieces into my life - to map and take control of my flight. 

Thanks for reading, stay real to yourself, walk your own path.. this is our normal.